Originally published in ‘zine issue #18, 1997
Abscess Seminal Vampires and Maggot Men
(Relapse)
There’s not many songs on this record that don’t have the words “fuck” or “piss” in them. I love it! I’m wearing a shit-eating grin as I play this disc and I’m hearing the dismembers switch off vocals and instruments on different songs in true Abscess fashion. The sound is awesome and so is the band. How they’ll top this is beyond me.
(by Editor) ■
Acid Bath Paegan Terrorism Tactics
(Rotten)
A unique band just exploding with ideas. The vocalist owns a very intriguing voice and the band backs him up with lots of great riffs and tasteful instrumentation. A very well-rounded record and leagues beyond their first record and half the other shit coming out now.
(by J.R. Hayes) ■
Altar Ego Art
(Displeased)
Not having a tolerance for subtle acoustic intros, I immediate went to track two, only to be greeted by death/thrash metal with Sepultura-esque vocals and chunky groove parts. Nothing especially exciting; well-produced, though. It might’ve sounded much better eight years ago, but still a nice LP with competent musicianship and adequate heaviness. Not too bad for a shot of straight-up “‘90s style” metal.
(by R. Mason) ■
Anal Cunt I Like It When You Die
(Earache)
Well, I am impressed. AC has gone hardcore. This isn’t necessarily good, but it’s better than the last album in some respects, although along the same lines, such as with the silly songs, screaming, etc. The last one was a little funnier to listen to, though. But it’s f@#king stupid for AC to censor its song titles, unless those slobs at Earache did it for them!!
(by Editor) ■
Brutal Truth Kill Trend Suicide
(Relapse)
I was a little more prepared to listen to this, having heard some of the material live beforehand. They’ve gone for a deliberately underproduced approach on this slab (a kind way of saying it sounds like shit) as an antithesis to the last album, and sort of sounds like a demo, but it still has more conviction and validity than 90% of the bands out there.
(by Editor) ■
The Candy Snatchers ‘96 album
(SafeHouse)
If you’re stuck in punk rock history, content to ignore the past 10 years and lock yourself in the closet with your Dead Boys records and sniff airplane glue, you could buy this, or you could buy a ticket to the 20th century.
(by R. Mason) ■
Cathedral Supernatural Birth Machine
(Earache)
I was excited to get the new Cathedral after repeatedly playing The Carnival Bizarre in the car. After finally listening to it, I find another great album of uppity and heavy doom rock from the English quartet and not a rehash of the above last album either. Sure, they’re still ripping off Sabbath and everything, but that’s the point, isn’t it? Dorrian’s vocals have strengthened (though I think he had more range on the last LP) and the lyrics have moved beyond battlefields and witches and so on. A fine effort—I’m bloody chuffed!
(by Editor) ■
Dearly Beheaded Temptation
(Fierce)
The only thing this CD will tempt you to do might be to throw yourself off a 12-story building. Machine Head, Pantera—if you like these bands and appreciate their clones, buy this. The unfortunate tree which was sacrificed to make this ‘zine shouldn’t be wasted on this shit.
(by R. Mason) ■
“This record is just one long sonic bowel movement.”
Exit-13 Smoking Songs
(Relapse)
Bliss Blood from the Pain Teens makes a delectable appearance on vocals (and so does Dan Lilker [my word!], but with less pleasant results), which sounds like it was recorded in the ’30s. There’s horns, standup bass, and jazzy guitars and percussion. Oh, and all the songs are about pot. You can’t claim to be into weedcore if you don’t own this CD.
(by Editor) ■
Failure Fantastic Planet
(Slash)
Another excellent release from this sadly overlooked band. Their consistently strong songwriting talent sets them apart from others of their ilk. Failure possesses the one ingredient which separates mainstream alternative from true alternative: vision. And this is why they will most likely never achieve the recognition which they rightfully deserve.
(by J.R. Hayes) ■
Floodgate Penalty
(Roadrunner)
It sounds like Soundgarden trying to play hardcore—make that bad hardcore. Their singer, ex-Exhorder, is trying to harmonize like Alice In Chains does and is failing miserably. I’d rather listen to the Yoko Ono box set than spin this disc again.
(by J.R. Hayes and Editor) ■
Godplow Soft Formal Static
(Grass)
I’d rather invite a Jehova’s Witness over for dinner than spin this wretched pop drivel. Of the liner photos displays a bandmember riding a buffalo. I think I’ll let you draw your own conclusions on that one …
(by J.R. Hayes) ■
Haynes Boys ‘96 album
(Slab)
R.E.M. made millions of dollars off their new record deal. That sum pales in comparison to how much they could make by suing the Haynes Boys. These aren’t songs; they’re copyright infringements!
(by J.R. Hayes) ■
Helloween High Live
(Castle)
A double LP of Helloween’s new material for the most part, and considering how technically stunning this band once was, it’s hard not to feel like this is about 10 years too late. A must buy for fans of new Helloween, but the rest of us will stick to the Keepers records.
(by R. Mason) ■
Ho-Hum Local
(Universal)
If Jimi Hendrix was the sound of LSD, then Ho-Hum is the sound of NyQuil. This record is just one long sonic bowel movement. Music like this was done 10 times better by R.E.M. 10 years ago.
(by J.R. Hayes) ■
Holly McNarland Sour Pie
(Laser)
Holly is a singer/songwriter in the Jewel/Lisa Loeb vein. Not really my cup of tea. If the thought of a less-threatening P.J. Harvey appeals to you, then you just may fill up your diapers over this one.
(by J.R. Hayes) ■
Human Remains Using Sickness as a Hero
(Relapse)
All that can be said is that Human Remains, next to Carcass, may be the sickest and next to Voivod the most original band I have ever heard. Their lyric writing skills have improved immensely, and even after seeing them live twice I literally have no idea how they play these songs. Incredible. They broke up a while ago and two of the guys are in Discordance Axis, if anybody’s interested.
(by Editor) ■
Human Sector ’96 demo #2
The brave souls from Human Sector have submitted a new demo for review. This band uses plenty of acoustic and keyboard interludes. The introduction is very nice and the singer is using a few different styles. The songs go absolutely nowhere, though. Basically, I hear no improvement or change from last time, except that the vocals are stronger now.
(by Editor) ■
Knockout Think it’s Time
(Doctor Dream)
I’m astounded at how these guys manage to cram every single thing I despise about So. Cal. punk onto one CD. But if you like this shit—oops, I mean pop punk—then go for it.
(by J.R. Hayes) ■
Machine Head The More Things Change
(Roadrunner)
A respectful follow-up to their good, but dangerously overrated, debut album. This will definitely please their fans. As for me, with the exception of a few awe-inspiring riffs, they just don’t get my semen swimming.
(by J.R. Hayes) ■
Morgoth Feel Sorry for the Fanatic
(Century Media)
OK, I know, they felt they did all they could in the death metal genre and need to “progress.” But why does “progress” always mean watching one of your favorite bands degenerate into total shit? [I’ve often wondered that myself—Editor] If you love Morgoth, stay away from this piece of worthless fuck.
(by R. Mason) ■
Namanax Cascading Waves of Electronic Turbulence
(Release)
There are gods who don’t have attention spans of 47 minutes and 7 seconds. That’s a piece of work, boy. I feel like I’m being pysically assaulted by this CD. It’s mildly amusing.
(by J.R. Hayes) ■
Napalm Death/Coalesce split CD In Tongues We Speak
(Earache)
Featuring a great Napalm song taken from the Napalm/At The Gates Cursed to Tour sampler CD and a demo song from the Utopia Banished record, this would be Barney’s last hurrah as he has left for greener pastures (I don’t know if Extreme Noise Terror qualifies, but I guess we’ll see). As for Coalesce, they’re American mid-paced hardcore with enough variance and extremity to keep my interest. A good split.
(by Editor) ■
Overdose Scars
(Fierce)
My comment is, it’s heavy but doesn’t go for the jugular. It’s somewhat creative and has some tribal stuff. I could get into this if there weren’t a thousand other things to buy. It’s alright but kind of annoying [and I hated them live—Editor].
(by J.R. Hayes) ■
The Phoids Marianne Doesn’t Know Yet
(NG)
Once upon a time, the word alternative meant something. Now it means that I’ve got to sit here at 2 a.m. and listen to some awful hybrid of every wimp rock band you’ve heard before and wished you hadn’t, praying for a quick and painless death. Similar to Wilco.
(by R. Mason) ■
Pist-On Number One
(Fierce)
This is basically what Molly Hatchet would sound like after a night of bad acid and too many White Zombie records. If that sounds like fun to you, get help.
(by R. Mason) ■
Poundcake Aloha via Satellite
(Q Division)
Music lesson #1 : there are two kinds of bands in this world: a) those with sac, and b) Poundcake. This record is about as exciting as a quadriplegic wrestling match. I pissed away value lifeforce reviewing this.
(by J.R. Hayes) ■
Pulley Esteem Driven Engine
(Epitaph)
The first song denounces bands who “cash in.” As Alanis Morissette says, isn’t it ironic? After I stopped laughing, I actually got into this album of melodic, poppy cashcore. It’s got all the typical Epitaph elements, done well, and features your fave entrepreneurs from other Epibands, Ten Foot Pole and Face To Face among them. If you have a sense of humor and aren’t swamped down in MaximumRockNRoll standards of what is and isn’t punk, you’ll really enjoy this.
(by R. Mason) ■
Samael Passage
(Century Media)
Moody and yet with not a lot of sac, the new Samael LP features, among other things, a drum machine and a lot of keyboards. I liked Ceremony of Opposites a lot better. They’re pulling punches. If Impaled Nazarene is too much for you, pick this up instead.
(by J.R. Hayes and Editor) ■
Stuck Mojo Pigwalk
(Century Media)
Well, Century Media does it again. Following in the footsteps of Marauder (the most unimaginative metalcore band in recent memory), the latest Stuck Mojo is a full-length of rap metal cheesecore. This is just bland. They almost make Marauder look good.
(by J.R. Hayes) ■
Various Artists Take Your Medicine
(Wonderdrug)
A decent compilation from Boston. Scissorfight aren’t bad and Slaughter Shack rocked me ever so slightly … I don’t know if there is anything good enough on here to keep me coming back for more.
(by J.R. Hayes) ■
W.A.S.P. Still Not Black Enough
(Castle)
A completely worthless slab of syphilitic discharge reserved for those with little taste and fewer teeth. What happened to classic W.A.S.P.? This sounds like a fucking Spinal Tap record. Total shit.
(by R. Mason) ■
