Disposable column: Musical Darwinism – 2010

Musical Darwinism logo text

Originally published in ‘zine issue #41, 2010

I played JR some records. Here are his first impressions of each.

Gollum "The Core" album cover

Gollum The Core (Rotten)
It’s a little early on, but I don’t know if this label really has a sound, you know, but they have those schizophrenic-type bands that go from riff to riff, genre to genre. The riffs are kinda unconventional, which is good. That could be an Acid Bath riff. Sound like they probably listen to some Acid Bath. Transition’s kinda shabby. If you’re gonna switch vibes like that, there’s a right way to do it and a wrong way to do it. It’s kinda catchy; it’s got a good groove to it. This song kinda sounds like it could be a Melvins song, a rockin’ Melvins song. This band’s pretty cool.  ■

Celan "Halo" album cover

Celan Halo (Exile on Mainstream)
I’ve already heard this album. This is the dude from Unsane playing with one of the dudes from Neubauten, some other German weirdos. It’s a cool record. It sounds like a slightly more industrial Rammsteined-up Unsane, you know what I mean? A little bit darker, a little more atmosphere, but it’s Chris Spencer playing guitar and singing, so it sounds like Unsane. As long as he’s playing guitar and singing, it’s always—it doesn’t matter what they call the band, it’s always gonna sound like Chris Spencer playing guitar and singing. There’s a really interesting song at the end of this record that has, like, a piano in it. You should check this out; it’s a pretty cool record. ■

Seizure Crypt "Under the Gun" album cover

Seizure Crypt Under the Gun (Bad Elephant)
[sarcastically] Please be metallic hardcore. Oh man, I was really hopin’ it would come in with some Hatebreed-type action. You sure this isn’t the soundtrack to Desperado? Man, this is some odd stuff. You know, it’s got that thin guitar sound, and, I dunno, it sounds like old—really old American hardcore punk, like Negative Approach or Angry Samoans, that kinda shit. The riffs are kind of interesting; they’re aggressive. The singer of this reminds me of Schnauzer. The three goofy vocalists, you know what I mean? All this kind of shouting over each other like a bunch of morons? It’s hardcore. It’s not hardcore in, like, the Madball sort of way, but it’s hardcore punk. It takes you back to that old—maybe the first Agnostic Front 7” or something. Anyway, it’s pretty cool, and that’s about all I have to say about that. ■

Satyrasis "Creation of Failure" album cover

Satyrasis Creation of Failure (Seventh Door)
I don’t know why I’m thinking of Sacred Reich. Prob’ly death metal, thrash metal, thrash death, death thrash. You know, not horribly produced, but definitely not state of the art. The drums are kinda weak in the mix. The vocalist knows when to shut up, which is always a good thing. Takes his time, picks his spots. It’s kind of a tough voice, like, you could hear him singing for some old band in the ‘80s, like a Forbidden or a Faith or Fear, a band from that era. European death metal bands tend to have more of that Iron Maiden/At the Gates kind of melodic, you know, the Thin Lizzy thing, it’s all kinda built into their programming, you know what I mean? American bands tend to have more of that, less of a melodic touch and more of an aggressive edge, and I guess that proves my point if they’re from Michigan. The way they’re thrashin’ out kinda reminds of maybe the first Megadeth album a little bit; the first two Megadeth albums, maybe. Y’know, solid death metal band, the vocalist has got some balls … cool band. ■

Irepress "Samus Octology" album cover

Irepress Samus Octology (Translation Loss)
Please don’t be black metal, please don’t be black metal … Oh boy. We’re in for a long night, aren’t we? I dunno, right now, at least, the opening is pretty unconventional to say the least. This part kinda reminds me of City of Caterpillar or something like that. That kind of, I don’t know what you’d call that type of guitar, that kind of flamenco sound. Just waiting for some serious Killswitch vocals to come in. The drummer definitely sounds like he’s a jazz guy; prob’ly at least the bass player too. I guess they’re an instrumental band? If they had a vocalist, he would’ve been stinking it up long before that. You know he would’ve been shitty as hell, too. Yeah, I mean, I guess the closest thing I could probably equate this to would be like a Pelican or maybe Dysrhythmia? They’re a little stranger than this, I guess. It’s like, kinda post-hardcore, kinda jazzy instrumental stoner jams. I dunno. It’s not my thing, man. It’s not my thing at all. ■

Under Pressure "Black Bile" album cover

Under Pressure Black Bile (Escape Artist)
Yeah, I think I mentioned Negative Approach earlier, but this totally fuckin’ sounds like Negative Approach. It’s just straight Detroit hardcore. You know a lot of hardcore bands nowadays, they have that automatic metal guitar sound. There’s no metal guitar sound on this; it’s definitely a punk album. Drums got a little punch to ‘em, some nice little lead breaks in there. The guitar kinda reminds me a little bit of Ass Cobra by Turbonegro. It’s high-energy punk, hardcore. I think really it’s the vocalist that makes it sound like a hardcore album. If they had more of a whiny type of vocalist, they could almost be a pop punk band. ‘Cause the music isn’t really super-aggressive. The vocals are really what’s doing it for me. I have a feeling, I don’t think we’re going to get any curveballs from this band. Probably a whole album of this, but you could do a lot worse. ■

Dr. Slaggleberry "The Slagg Factory" album cover

Dr. Slaggleberry The Slagg Factory (Crash)
I can’t really get down with the instrumental metal thing. Maybe I’m a vocalist but I’m biased, you know, but I really can’t think of any instrumental metal bands that really do it for me. I appreciate the musicianship and stuff. It’s kinda got a Mental Vortex by Coroner [sound], real unconventional riffs and unorthodox, but it just never feels like it’s going anywhere to me. Good musicianship, but not my cup of tea. ■

Revolta "Thought Police" demo cover

Revolta Thought Police
Pretty cool band! That sounds like a Slayer move right there. That’s a pretty cool mosh riff. I like the vocalist. That’s some fucking Years Of Decay shit right there, fuckin’ put the stink on it. They know how to mix up the mosh parts and the fast parts. Singer’s got a pair of balls. ■

Walken album cover

Walken 2009 album
If they were a waiter, their tip woulda just went down to zero. That is bad service right there when you start bustin’ out those fuckin’ vocals. I hate it. I fucking hate it. I hate when they do the—I was just about to give the guy a compliment on his voice, and then he fuckin’ has to bust out the—I mean, anybody who’s even remotely familiar with metal will understand, you know, when the vocals start to get, like, this operatic kind of—and not operatic in a Bruce Dickinson way, ‘cause Bruce Dickinson’s got balls—I’m talkin’ about the Gregorian chant type of bullshit that these bands try to pull off. And it’s like, they should all just have their dicks cut off and fed to them. Fuck these bands. I just got no use for that shit, man. I mean, I’m sure they’re nice guys and they prob’ly love their mommies and stuff, but I don’t wanna listen to their metal album. ■

Nasum "Doombringer" album cover

Nasum Doombringer (Relapse)
Is this the live album? It’s weird, because I expected it to sound a little more pristine than it does. It’s a little more raw than I figured it would be. ‘Cause, you know, you think of Nasum, they have that very, like—it’s like a nicely trimmed hedge, you know what I mean? It’s like they’ve trimmed all of the excess fat off of their sound; the only thing that’s left is what they wanted, you know? It just feels very, I don’t know what the term I’m looking for is. I think in some ways a raw production kinda does them good, kinda humanized them a little bit. You can tell the drummer’s going for it. I was actually at that show, and they totally ripped. I actually thought the second night [of the tour they recorded this on] was their best night. The night of Nagoya they totally tore it up, but it’s fuckin’ merciless grind, dude. I mean, it almost wipes the taste of that last band outta my mouth. Almost. Yeah, it’s Nasum; it rules. What the fuck do you want? ■

The Lovey Dovies Baby We Miss You
I think when I heard this record before, I was sayin’ this first song sounds like straight Dinosaur Jr., kind of like a grittier Dinosaur Jr. But there’s other parts of this record that make me think of, like, Afghan Whigs or, you know, just various grunge bands of that early/mid ‘90s period. The singer doesn’t have that nasally kind of Jay Mascis voice. Even though it’s demo quality, it’s kind of fitting for them. It’s gritty, you know, the guitars are nice and fuzzy. The drums sound live-in-a-practice-space, type of sound. I like this guy’s voice a lot. I wish I’d had a chance to see them live. ■

Skullflower "Tribulation" album cover

Skullflower Tribulation (Crucial Blast)
I’ve heard some of this band’s older records, and it’s like noisy, dirgy stuff like Earth or SunnO))) kind of stuff. But he’s been doing it for a long, long time. You know when a song starts out like this, and you start thinking, like, “How long is this gonna go on? Does it go on for a minute? Does it go on for 20 minutes? Is it the whole album?” I dunno. I was expecting there to be more musicality to this, you know what I mean? Just based on stuff that I’d heard before, which isn’t much, but this is almost like a noise thing, like, I dunno—Masonna’s too over the top, but it’s not quite that harsh. Every track sounds like a band getting ready to play. Like you’re on stage, you got everything turned up, and it’s like, EEEEEE. And it just not kicking in. I guess he’s just going for a totally abstract “this is a noise album” kind of vibe. Maybe I’m just not in the mood for this sort of thing right now, but it’s not doing much for me. ■


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