Originally published in ‘zine issue #35, 2006
Having cut his teeth on metal and punk, C-Rex has been writing and recording and delighting his friends and (justifiably) elicits a “thumbs down” from his critics in the hip-hop community, if any he has. C-Rex took a break from playing gigs with his iPod to enlighen us on what it is he does.
“I don’t know shit about hip hop, but I think it’s hilarious. I don’t pay attention to it, but like any American, it’s constantly being crammed down my throat. I love it for its comedic value, but I hate the big name rappers today for failing to take advantage of the incredible exposure they are getting. In theory, most of these guys are rhyming about the illest, most disgusting sexual shit, which is what C-Rex is all about, but if they are going to be that ridiculous, they might as well be a lot funnier than they typically are. Not only are they talking about sick shit, but the most unsuspecting people of all ages and races eat it up. And then for some asinine reason these MCs feel the need to undercut the beauty of their opportunity to spit nasty shit at America and instead insist on discussing how many cars and necklaces they have. Who gives a shit? Life is about booty and prescription drugs. The big hip hop names who are all relentlessly claiming to be ‘so real’ are total bullshit. And most of these motherfuckers don’t even have skills! They just put ‘yeah’ or ‘nigga’ at the end of every line, like that shit rhymes. I went to high school, man. Point being, I am above hip hop. C-Rex started dropping the ill shit when he realized that he was the only pervert on the block who was willing to own up to it. So I made my thoughts rhyme, started telling stories of the girls and drugs I experimented with on the weekends in high school. I don’t use silly code words for the filthy shit that I want to say and I don’t hold anything back. And every syllable rhymes. Just the fact that some of these absurdly rich MCs today are rapping over whack beats, talking about boring shit, and can’t even rhyme. I don’t know anything about rap, but I figured if I was gonna take a stab, I wasn’t gonna be a pussy about it. And look at me now: I am coming back with The Rex Erection and I already have all the rhymes written for my 3rd LP, Rex 2 Riches.
“C-rex speaks to all shapes, races, and persuasions of bitches. Yet suckerpunks want to turn a deaf ear to the nasty tracks ‘cause their moms can’t feel it. I pity such busters. As result of this cowardly negligence, C- Rex entertains mostly shitheads and losers.
“What sort of fanbase do I have? Perverts who can’t admit that they are perverted because they have jobs and moms and girlfriends. Haters who think I can’t rap just because I look like a broke-ass fool. Those suckers love to watch C-Rex expose the truth. To be honest, most of my fans are frat boys and most of the shows I play are at frats. They book me because they hate themselves and I play the shows so that I can get drunk, high, paid, and laid. Simple as that. I have very little respect for my fans.
“When I’m bakin’ beats or scribblin’ rhymes or whatever, the only thing I listen to is my heart. I pay respect to Snoop Dogg for spitting ‘eat a dick’ before Rex did, but not for a damn thing otherwise. I stay focused on the booty. From the cradle to the grave, C-Rex stays true to his influences: painkillers and grain alcohol. It’s all real. But Tony Yayo is tight.
“Let’s get real. Strip the Rex out of the track and you’re left with a hit. Biblical basslines. Blasphemous beats. It’s sonic sex. I have no money, but I make fresh beats and write sick rhymes. And its really all about the rhymes. I think of the suckers and bitches who pump my tracks as the congregation to whom I preach of the trials and tribulations that make up the struggle that is the life of C-Rex. I’m not like other MCs. I’m not a thug. C-Rex doesn’t care about money, cars, jewelry, or clothes. I’m about interracial sex, the West Coast heady nugs, shattering backboards, oxycontin, a future without pants, and the concept of an eternal spring break. And beer. People don’t want to accept that this shit is real. Dust busters won’t admit it, but America needs C-Rex. They need to buy The Rex Erection.”
Contact C-Rex at www.myspace.com/rexoffender. You can watch his video for the song “All You Thugs” at www.indieupload.com. ■
Photo: C-Rex before one of his live sets
